Maternal Enlightenment

There is no clock to mark the hour of two
and still I wake with alarmed precision
to the sound of your newborn lungs
thrusting me into the present,
demanding
food now,
boob now,
milk now,
NOW! NOW! NOW!

You have no concept of am and pm,
sooner or later:
30 minutes from now, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 5 seconds
all become empty notions
within your primal orientation.

You exist only in Now.

So when I wake up at 2 am
to find my soon crashing into your now,
I meet myself head on.
I collide with my own shadow
in a place with no reference to future or past.

This particular brand of maternal enlightenment
leaves me nursing Saturn rings under my eyes
as day and night fade into a blur of raw
rationales and fading logic.

The only right time is right now,
right?

I have no energy to try and fight you.
Your screams are no call to war;
there would be no balance in this battle.

Yet in the shadows of Saturn
I turn away from your fragile indigence
for a moment of guilt-ridden rest,
I dream on…
only to sweep you into my arms
and cover you in instant kisses
sooner rather than later.

© 2006 Lucille Greeff